Just been thinking

So it's September...a month that tends to be up and down. Quite honestly it's always been that way. My memaw died when I was in the 5th grade on September 15. I think I remember that more now as that my dad died on the 16th. This year I want to remember the good memories and celebrate the life we had not the death and loss....We'll see how it goes.

Women of Faith

I signed up last year to be a group leader for this years (2010) Women of Faith event in Greensboro NC. It's like I couldn't not do it. I cried standing in line knowing I had to follow God. It's been tough. I thought I'd have help and it's not worked out that way. I know there's grace and it will all work out and it's not about the money....but I give my word and I want to stand by that. So, today I visited 4 churches and talked to those whom I feel God led me to so now it's just a matter of sitting back, praying and letting God be God and work it out. Join me in praying that the women who need to be in those seats will be the ones that are there. I went to Staples to look at a rolling/wheeled computer bag. I've been carrying a shoulder bad all day and have a headache from it. While at Staples I saw a lady whom had on a church t-shirt. I ask her if she knew one of my high school friends--it was his wife! How like God to put her in my path! It was awesome....I invited her to WOF too.
I came home to rest before church and haven't really rested, but I'm out of the car and still so that's nice!
I had to run by a friend's today. This has been the one person I wanted to notice my weight loss but without me just saying it out right....It happened! God just makes me smile...not a big deal to the world but a nice little smile for me!
xoxo

Be still and know that I am God

How did I go from life being somewhat idealistic to not being so????
I know that life changes one choice at a time and it's the little choices that seem insignificant that usually are the important ones. I can look back and say that the choice to spend the night when I knew I should have left is one I know seems insignificant but was the in many ways the beginning of major life changes for me. Am I there now? Am I going to look back and see this as a turning point in life? I'm not sure but have a feeling this is the case.
As I write that I'm just thinking that if I believe God is truly working then does it matter that life doesn't feel so ideal right now? I'm thinking not so much.
Yet, God knows my heart hurts right now but He promises to restore the years (or any amount of time) lost to the locusts. Right now I think that's a promise I can hang on to. All God asks is that I be still and let Him reign; let Him be God....easier to say than walk out...
Thanks be to God for all His miracles in my life!!

Haven't had a post in a long time. Finishing my class at GTCC took more of my time than I would have thought. It was a great class!! It's been a very busy Saturday. Errands, Stampin' up party, mowed the yard, cleaned house, and laundry. My air isn't working and so it's been a hot labor!!! In the next month I have 3 long weekends and want to do some sewing so excited about getting ready for that.
It's become a season of being still and letting God be God. A season of dying to self; a season to not just know in my head God's peace but experiencing it in my heart.
Doing Ruth study with a few ladies from church and Beth Moore's blog. It's interesting seeing her perspective on a favorite story (Ruth is my middle name).
Weight loss is going ok. Lost over 30 pounds now. It's hard to believe. Had to add it twice. I have a 10 year High School reunion in September and so hope to look good for that. It's intimidating for me.

Letters To God

Today I got up and completed my first week of p90x. It's tough and I'm achy not really sore but it's doable with some modifications. I've been doing Biggest Loser for the month prior to starting p90x and have lost 5 pounds. That's exciting!! I am going to the wellness center at the end of the month and hopefully address my overall health and some of the changes (I think of as negative) that have happened over the last 16 months or so. I'm hopeful that I can feel better and be more able to "bring it" for my workouts and in daily life.
Today after class my friend Pattie and I went to see the movie "Letters to God". First---GO SEE IT!!!!!!!! I was truly one of the most inspiring movies I've seen! It made me stop and think. I have another friend who tells me I analyze way more than most people and he's probably right. I don't mean to but in retrospect I do think about things more than other people! My point being, if I were to right a letter to God about my life, those I love, those I want to forgive, the people in my sphere...what I say??? Furthermore, does this life, my letter to God and the world, say what I desire for it to??? Am I making choices that will leave a legacy I will be proud of? Have I told the people that matter that they matter and that I love them? So, my challenge to you is---What would you write to God and do those whom you love know you love them??? I lost my dad when he was 47 and I was 19 suddenly to a heart attack. It took that loss to know that you never know what's going to happen--people need to know how you feel.

Life Question

The last couple of days have been a bit trying for me as I've had a question on my mind. I know that I don't need a human answer but I need a God answer in my heart. However, I feel like I'm probably not the only one who asks. So, the question is why when I want to be the most encouraging/ the best friend/ the best sister or daughter do I seem to fail the most???? I know that my identity is in Jesus as a child of the King of Kings, a princess, not that of dental hygienist, friend, daughter, sister, hopefully someday wife and mother...I like those names but they aren't who I really am. I want to be a reflection of God in all ways. It seems when I want the right words/ kind deeds/ expression of love---I just don't have it.... Today I just don't understand why I don't have it....My feelings aren't always in line with God's truth. I know He's not left me or forgot me but I just don't feel like a very bright light. So, as much as I pray for you to be closer to God, today I'm asking for God to draw near to me; to help me feel effective, to be a good ______(fill in the title); mostly to fill my heart with His love...

Philp 1:3-14 from Bread Breakers

Today I have spent working on school. I have taken 2 chapter test and wrote 1 essay. I need to get more done today but needed a break so I decided to give you some notes from Bread Breakers last night. We looked at Philippians 1: 3-14. It's of note that Paul was in jail and had been beaten, whipped, stoned, and was in jail. I like the first sentence and often send it to friends as an encouragement. "I thank my God every time I remember you." 1. I thank God for you and 2. I do it EVERY time I remember you....and I tend to get people on my mind and I want to pray for them and be thankful for the role they played in my life. Some I would classify as positive and others not but they each played the role God allowed and those are making me more like Jesus. Then, "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion..." Jesus didn't bring me this far through the journey to leave me incomplete!! I'm so thankful for that! "...that your love may abound... in knowledge and depth..." Love should be a chief/key motivator for us. We are bound by the law of love. In this love we can know Christ and each other on a deeper level. Finally, "...served to advance the gospel...because of my chains..." It's hard for me to grasp the fact that people see Christ me more readily when I am in my tough times and even through the ones I'd like to hide/forget/hate/struggle with the most. It's encouraging that God can take those seemingly "bad" things and make good come from them. To think this abundant life I live has come from the ashes a past I WOULD NOT have chosen...what a miracle!

The living dead

As I said in my 1st post I'm studying Beth Moore. We are in week 5 of Breaking Free. I'm actually facilitating the class...sort of a scary thought. :)
As I've been studying and thinking tonight I've came across a few things I wanted to share and they are a good combination to explain why I named my blog a resurrected life.
1. the meaning of resurrect: to bring back to life; raise from the dead
...God not only resurrected the life I wanted to end, He resurrected the testimony I thought I'd lost, the career I thought was over, the loss of friends, and hopes I'd deeply buried.
2. "Perhaps the most profound miracle of all is living through something we thought would kill us. And not just living, but living abundantly and effectively-raised from living death to new life. A life indeed absent of something or someone dear but filled with the presence of the resurrection and the life....the life of a Christian is never about sameness. It's always about change...Christ binds and compresses it with a nail-scarred hand. Life will not ever be the same, but I have the invitation from Christ to rise to a new life--a more compassionate life, a wiser life, a more productive life. And, yes, even a better life. I never cease to be amazed at the bad God can use for good." (Beth Moore)
3. My story is more than my losses and I am finding my way through the wilderness of loss and loneliness.

So, as you begin to read through my journey my desire is not to glorify myself or my mistakes and successes but the One who allowed them, even those He didn't author. I was among the living dead and God has taken those ashes and making beauty from them...

A little about me

I'm 28 and a Randolph County Native. I enjoy writing far more than talking about my feelings/emotions/life. I am an oldest child. I went to school at Grays Chapel, Eastern Randolph and Guilford Technical Community College. I am a Dental Hygienist and love what I do. I am going back to school, currently at GTCC for an associates in Psychology. I want to transfer out and get a degree so that I can counsel folks, especially those involved with me in ladies ministries. I am in counseling myself and want to help others like me. As you can probably guess from my blog title, I have been in some deep pits and I'm working (with God) to climb out and stay out! The other thing you might guess is that I am a blood bought and born again Christian. I'm sure that some negative connotation with some, but for me it means that I get to spend this life with the blessings of heaven on earth though I'm FAR from deserving. AND when this life is over I'll be face to face with my creator crying holy, holy, holy with the seraphem. I am undecided yet as to how specific I will be with my past sins as that I didn't want God's grace to be limited by my struggles. The truth is the truth and God is God regardless of how it applies to you and me.
I hope to share my struggles and successes with you in a way that points to Christ. I believe in being authentic you will see a woman whose heart has been broken and is continuing to be healed. I am in the middle of Beth Moore's Breaking Free, Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace, Psychology 241, and starting P90x. As that those are consuming my time, you will be reading a good bit from that for a few weeks.
My prayer, even now, is that you will be closer to Jesus as a result of this blog.