more on grace

These are quotes from Captured By Grace by David Jeremiah.  I like how he describes grace:
" It means unmerited favor or kindness shown to one who is utterly undeserving...It is not merely a free gift, but a free gift to those who deserve the exact opposite, and it is given to us while we are without hope and without God in the world."

"At the heart of the mystery is the essential concept: the idea of mercy.  We must understand grace, at least within the limits of our comprehension; we must understand mercy.  And we must be clear on how the two ideas intersect."

"The truth is more elusive, like the words themselves.  Think of it this way: Mercy is God withholding the punishment we rightfully deserve.  Grace is God not only withholding that punishment but offering the most precious of gifts instead.
Mercy withholds the knife from the heart of Isaac.
Grace provides a ram in the thicket.

Mercy runs to forgive the Prodigal Son.
Grace throws a party with every extravagance.

Mercy bandages the wounds of the man beaten by the robbers.
Grace covers the cost of his full recovery.

Mercy hears the cry of the thief on the cross.
Grace promises paradise that very day.

Mercy pays the penalty for our sin at the cross.
Grace substitutes the righteousness of Christ for our wickedness.

Mercy converts Paul on the road to Damascus.
Grace calls him to be an apostle.

Mercy saves John Newton from a life of rebellion and sin.
Grace makes him a pastor and author of a timeless hymn.

Mercy closes the door to hell.
Grace opens the door to heaven.

Mercy withholds what we have earned.
Grace provides blessing we have not earned."

"A moment of grace can change a lifetime.  In fact, a moment of grace can change an eternity."

"Grace can only shine in its ultimate brilliance because it emerges from ultimate darkness."

"Pardon takes away the punishment for a sin.  Justification erases any record of your transgression...Forgiveness says, "I'm going to let you slide this time."  Justification says, "I'm going to remove the offense from all memory, as if it never occurred." It forgives and forgets."

I'm sure I'll have more to add and I do LOVE sharing what I think are the highlights of books.  In fact, maybe I'll post them more often...but for now I think I'd like to add a few of my own thoughts.
Mercy stopped me on a self destructing road of earthly hell.
Grace gave me a story of redemption and resurrected my life.

Mercy allowed my friend to hold her baby son, to live, to create memories.
Grace allowed her womb to carry another life, her breast to sustain another son while she grieved, and allowed laughter back into her life.

Mercy allowed a person who had never been through some the things I put myself through to help me walk the road to begin healing.
Grace allows me to call her friend as I keep traveling the journey.

Mercy means I don't walk alone even when I'd like to.
Grace gives God's hands, feet, and hugs to other humans so I can feel them.

Mercy allowed my Daddy to live in the '70s when a 1000 pound belly pan fell on his head (they came to get him in the hearse).
Grace allowed him to marry my mom and then allowed me to call him Daddy.

Mercy allows me to know I'll see those I love again.
Grace allows me to carry the memories now.

Mercy allows me a job, a home, a car, and MANY other blessings!
Grace allows me to enjoy them, even the work involved.

Mercy allows me to heal from sin.
Grace allows me fresh chances that I should not have.

Moments of mercy and grace are such life changing, even eternity changing glimpses of heaven that I sit and marvel that a holy God could so transform a wretch like me to even see them....and hopefully offer them.  I am simply amazed!!  Even as I write this I'm sitting here praying to my Abba Father and all I can manage is "Wow." I could sit here for days telling of punishments that have been withheld from me and blessings bestowed that I will never deserve. It truly is an amazing, awe inspiring start to my day.

Friends

As I predicted in January, this has been a year of growing!!!  I can honestly say that some days the growing pains have been nearly unbearable. Yet, it is in those times of trial that not only have I been changed on the inside but my perception of people and the world has changed too.  I began a journey that isn't done but even at this point only a few people keep steadily journeying beside me.  I don't fault the others for jumping ship for there are days I've considered it.  However, I'm still waking up in the mornings and that tells me that God isn't done working on this earthly vessel.
I was praying for a friend asking God what He would have me say and maybe a part of me was hoping He'd change His mind and send someone else; I was having a Jonah moment.  I was needing some grace....maybe that's why God sent me to the book he did. 
As I was praying and looking, God brought a passage from a book I had read to my mind.  I had to find it!  When I did I found the coolest quote about friendship.  It says, "Most folks figure a true friend is someone who accepts them as they are.  But that's dangerous garbage to believe.  The kid who works the drive-through at your local fast-food restaurant accepts you.  But a true friend brings out the best in you.  A best friend will tell you the truth...and a wise best friend will include a healthy dose of perspective."  I found it to be intriguing and double edged.  I want VERY much to be that friend, the wise best friend and challenged to see that some people (albeit a tad bit misguided from my perspective) have had that idea in their heart even if it didn't come out that way.  God reminded me of a friend who had to walk the steps God is challenging me to and I needed her to that person....I just hope I do as well on the other side of the conversation as she did and that grace will cover where I fail.
I'm still praying about what God would have me say!!!  However, I am also praying for courage, a clear mind, and an open heart....all of the above for both sides of the conversation.  He is faithful, good, merciful, loving, kind, loyal, and able to fill in my gaps.  I'm praying even now that He lays the ground work, that He makes me small so He can be BIG, that the enemy is bound, and that I run this leg of the race well. 

Grace

Last night I stood before my small library and ask God to show me what I needed to read.  What I needed to see.  I've read most of my books at least once and that is true for the one that caught my attention:  David Jeremiah's Captured by Grace. It made me start thinking about what the word grace really means.  I pray for it for myself and others but what pray-tell am I really asking for? 
Right now I'm not sure I have the answer but I am at the place I can state that grace is truly amazing.  Grace is the bridge that takes my weaknesses, sins and short comings and walks me to the abundance of Christ.  It is that force that gives me more than I deserve; the thing that allows me to go beyond my humanism; the thing that covers my limited-ness.  It is partnered with mercy to take the shame of my past and mold it into something beautiful.  Grace is what God applies when I reach out to love and don't get it quite right.  Grace is what God gives me when I reach the end of myself and have absolutely nothing left to offer/give and I turn to Him and fills in the gaps.  It is taking the broken, shattered pieces of me and turning them into a new and transformed piece of art.  It is God stretching down from heaven to count my tears and number the hairs on my head.  Grace is God loving me enough to hurt, ache, and probably cry as He hung His son on a cross and turned His back as Jesus died for my sins...to make me right with a just God.  Grace is what said to me, my child you have run far enough, come home.  Grace is what allows that sinful journey and transform it into something that is relevant to someone with a completely different journey.  Grace is being able to smile on the saddest of days and it is a real smile, not the fake ones.  It is the force that carries you on when your heart is breaking. Grace is the love of the cross chasing me, hunting me, leaving the 99 to pursue me.
I'm not sure I've summed it up well nor am I sure it really matters. As with most parts of life, it isn't so much the destination, but the journey to get there.  It isn't really even about me at all.  I'm just the moon trying to reflect the Son...

Today I find I need to write. I need to put in words why these tears won't stop, why I feel like a mess.
You see I have finally learned to love and be loved...not the fake imitation of 8 years. And love sometimes hurts. We finally talked today...the first time in 2 months. I love him more now. I hope one day I can post our wedding day and my friend Jennifer can blog about new life for us. However, I know my plans are not God's and I really want to honor Him and give Him the room to work it out as he needs to. My heart breaks because even though he is getting the "space" and life he asked for and wanted, he's got "fine" not abundant. God didn't just promise life (or fine) but He promised that and then some (abundant). I've been down the road of fine...it's not really fine. I've settled. I know how my own heart broke and all hurt from trying to make my life fine. I needed Jesus. At times I have felt He jerked me up by the hair of my head and drug me down the path of healing and other times I gladly trudge along because I was tired of being where I was. I was at the end of me. I can't make him want abundant, I can't drag him around, and I can't "fix it." I can't but God can and He is stretching my faith; asking me to believe that He is sovereign; asking me to remember that this pain and these tears do have a purpose. It's not an easy journey and not one I'd have chosen on my own but one I don't feel I can jump off of either. You see, even though the world thinks I'm nuts, I know what God has called me to and I know that being faithful to Him and what He calls me to is MUCH more important than what people think of me. So, I journey on....
The other pain is knowing that Friday marks 10 years since my Daddy went to be with Jesus. I'm not sure who I'm jealous of, my Dad or Jesus. Not really, but it does make me smile and I need to smile. I know I can celebrate the 19 years I had him and the lessons he taught me, the love he shared, and the memories I have. But right now I need to be like David and give myself time to grieve....the 10 years I haven't had him and the things he has missed and will miss. Even when I was too big to sit in his lap any more and he hated when I cried, he never failed to hug me and wipe away my tears. I never appreciated all he did for me till after he was gone...if heaven weren't so far away I'd drive up for a few days and have a visit.
I doubt I ever look back and think this was one of my more well written posts but I can say I've written it honestly and with tears streaming running down my face.